New Year-New Goals

Hey Y’all,

It’s been awhile since I’ve blogged, but as a New Years GOAL (I don’t do resolutions) I’m going to begin posting at least twice a week with Bible verses I am studying. This year’s goal is to become closer to God and Godly people. So feel free to share your thoughts about the verse.


Today’s is below.


2 Corinthians 4:16-18 New International Version (NIV)

16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.


I love this Verse, and I believe it is perfect to start off the new year with. In 2017 I struggled alot. Whether it was with depression or just other mentally challenging things it was almost like I could never win my mind back. In turn, this meant I couldn’t win my life back. Getting through was tough, and there were many times I just wanted to quit, but I didn’t and by the end of the year I had fought my way back to living.

You can’t live by only what you’re seeing. You have to trust and push on for the things you can’t yet see and trust that they will better.



Gentleman, get a lot further.

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Today’s topic: MEN and things they should figure out.

Specifically, women.

It’s no secret that I am a single woman. I’ve been single for nearly four years now, and I’m actually quite fond of it. When I was younger ( and stupid), I hated being single, and I thought that it meant I was unworthy, unwanted, and undesirable…. Well, let me just tell you now that is wrong. Being single does NOT make you any of these things, It simply means you haven’t found someone worth giving your time to, and if you stay single for the rest of your life, that’s fine. Nothing is worse than wasting your time on an undeserving man (or woman).

But, let’s face it, being single can sometimes get a little boring and lonely. If you’re like me and have two kids depending on you, there’s not much time to “hit the scene” and try to meet someone. So you depend on the good ol’ internet. Whether I’m using dating websites, or communicating with guys I know, it’s mostly all online. It has its perks -(I don’t have to meet them until i’ve decided if i’ve like them) and it’s downfalls (men can be pigs). The downfalls bring me to the real point of this blog post.

Basically, I am appalled (almost) daily at the things men say and expect woman to react positively to.  Men, if you want a Woman you should cut back things like (and not limited to) :

* Telling us how nice my breasts are. Obviously, we’re already aware.

* Inviting us to shower or bed with you within the first 10 minutes of talking.

*Asking for pictures.

* sending me Dick pics.


Doing this just gets you black listed right off the bat. If you literally just messaged us this, how many other woman are you saying the same exact thing to? No, we don’t want this. Woman want to be special, we don’t want a guy that’s complimenting everyone’s body parts and trying to get them in his dirty shower and forget about us sending you anything you can look at the pictures someone else sent you – seriously.


Understand this :

Woman are just as dirty as men. Probably dirtier. You simply need to respect and flatter us.


Guys, you could of gotten everything I mentioned above (and more) simply by being a gentleman first. Take the time to spark our interest, draw up a conversation, ask us on a date. Treat us right and we are going to give you what you want because WE WANT IT TO we just respect ourselves a little to much to throw ourselves in your bed or dirty ourselves in your shower (with everyone else you invited there).

Any girl (notice I did not say woman) that offers you her physical being without you respecting her entirely – doesn’t love herself. I know, I have been that girl. I have used men to numb pain, I have used men to feel wanted, I have found it easier to fall into a one-night-stand than falling in love. Those girls will never be anything more to you and you taking advantage of this only shows that you’re not worth her time.

As we get older, we don’t want the one night stands or the friends with benefits. We want someone that’s worth the time we have to give. That shows interest in our being. Take us to dinner, walks in the park, calls just because and texts us goodnight. Then, we want you to come over and throw us against a wall.

 Treat a girl right, and you’ll get the best sex (and relationship)you’ve ever had.

Personally, There’s a lot of men that “desire” me. Meaning, they’d love to get me naked and do as they please. I’m not ignorant; I’m well aware of this, and for some of them I too find myself curious. However, they’re the guys that you never hear from unless they wanna get their dick wet and I’m not the girl that answers those calls.

Now, I’m not saying that it’s bad to see someone you find attractive and wonder what they are like in bed. I think that’s natural and I’ve done it more than a few times, but FYI usually they are not as good as you hoped. My point is, Women are thinking the same as men, we want you to take us to bed and show us what we are missing – just swoop us off our fucking feet first!

(Unless you want someone that’s open to all- then go about your ways.)

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So, to summarize.
If you want to get a woman. Treat her like a queen and she’ll fuck you like a king.


That’s all for today.
More lessons later.


TOTAL MOM- Dating.

Being a single mom in the “dating” world, I often get asked, “what do you do for fun?” The answer is always, spend time with my kids. I like hiking, going to the park, going arcades, all the fun stuff, and I enjoy doing it with my children.

The second question is “what do you do with your free time?” my answer, what is free time?

Thirdly, if (and very rarely) they make it far enough to hang out I spend all my time talking about my kids, showing them pictures of my babies.

If they get invited to hang out at my house, they have to wait until after bedtime (I don’t let men meet my children) where they will find toys in hidden spots including the couches, the bed, and you may step on one going down the hall and this will be after I spent all day cleaning, but my daughter had just enough time before bed to place them back around the house! OH,’ and the best part, more than likely we are watching Disney movies, and I’ll sing along to all the best songs. Then they may think that since they’ve made it this far and sat through Beauty and the Beast now they’re going to make it to my bed. Well, Sure! Why not?I’m extremely tired, sleep sounds GREAT!

What can I say? I’m a TOTAL MOM! can you believe it?

That’s actually what someone said to me, and while I don’t believe they meant it as one – I took it as a huge compliment. They are right; I am a “total mom” from head to toe. My clothes, makeup, eye bags, car, home, everything about me says “I am a mom.” and I am not ashamed. I’m proud that I am a mother; and a damn good one at that!

So, I guess I don’t talk dirty enough, dress sexy enough, or party hard enough to be top girlfriend material. Maybe, I’d have to change to find someone. But if that’s the case I’ll remain single forever.

Being a mom is my life. It’s my greatest accomplishment and the best part of my life.



Me? An Approval Addict? Guilty!



As I set down to self-reflect today, i have concluded something about myself.

I worry way too damn much about what other people think of me, and it affects my life more than I have ever realized. Worrying about others opinions takes away from who I truly am, what I believe in and what I enjoy. How do you ask? Let me explain.

There have been times in my life when I have become very passionate about something – whether it be volunteering at an animal shelter, taking a class, or just something as simple as a new outfit I bought or new furniture whatever it may have been I for some reason found myself over the moon in excitement. So naturally, I go to tell someone about this new and exciting discovery; but when I share my excitement, my audience does not share the enthusiasm. In fact, they roll their eyes and completely ignore that I’ve said anything at all. Now, instead of feeling excited, i’m feeling stupid. I feel as though since this audience looked at me like I was crazy- maybe I am. So from now on, if I find that something so small makes me happy – I should just keep it to myself and pretend that it’s just another day.

I also have this “I care too much” problem when it comes to being a parent. You see I am a single mother, I don’t have anyone to discuss decisions with when it comes to my children, and I find that a lot of times it would be helpful to have that second party opinion. In the back of my head, I also know that the only reason I think this is because I doubt my ability and worry what other people are going to think about the conclusion.

There are many other fears I have when it comes to the way other people may see me. Want a list?

– I fear that some clothes I wear make people look at me and think “she’s too fat to wear that” even if the out fit is simply a tank top and workout pants.

– When I’m eating in public, I fear that people watch me and think “she must be such a pig.”

– I am afraid my family and friends think I’m a screw up because I’m single and have two kids.

– I think people label me like a slut because I have two kids.

– I worry people at the grocery store think I’m an awful mother when my two-year-old is having a melt down because she can’t have everything she wants.

– I also fear that no matter what I do it’s never going to be good enough for certain people.

These are all just a piece of things I find myself thinking every single day. I’m constantly in worry that I’ll never be accepted and all I want to do is “fit in.” I want people to look at me and say “she’s beautiful.” I want people to see how I love my kids and say ” she’s such a great mom.” However, the truth is – I don’t know that they aren’t saying these things. I only “think” I know what people think or say about me.

It’s not other people that are making me so self-conscious, it’s my mind.

After thinking of all the things, I fear when it comes to other peoples opinions I turned to google. Google has convinced me that I am an “approval addict.” Is being an approval addict as bad as being a drug addict? Possibly so.

Being a drug addict changes who you are, it changes how you think, act, and live and all in a negative fashion. Well, what does being an approval addict do? It changes who you are. Instead of living freely you’re walking a straight line and making sure that everything you do is worthy of others approval. You’re spending tons of money on the top brands even though the cheaper brands may make you more comfortable or even satisfy your tastes more. You’re missing out on things that make you happy, because someone else may tell you that it’s weird or less than acceptable. You’re making decisions based on what other people want rather than what you want. In short if your an approval addict you’re not living your life – your living the life others approve for you to have.

Here are some fun facts to remember when your anxiety is on a high worried about what all these other people may or may not think about you.

1. You have no control over what other people think about you.
It’s true; you have no control over what someone else thinks about you. You can do everything right, be kind and bend over backward for people and in the end, they may still think less of you. It isn’t your fault- it’s not even a reflection of you. It’s only their mind making up anything it wants to put their label on your forehead, and this is all they are going to see. You can spend your days dwelling over their label, or you can move on to bigger and better things.

2. It’s none of your business what others think of you.
I know, this one a hard concept to grasp. I mean it’s about you so shouldn’t you be entitled to know? No, you aren’t. An opinion belongs to the person who has it. They are not required to share what they think about you any more than they are required to cook you dinner every night. That’s just how it is. Your opinion of yourself is the only opinion you’re entitled to know- it’s also the only one that should matter!

So how do you being weaning off your approval addiction?

Just like any addiction, it’s not going to be easy, and it’s certainly not going to happen quickly. You have to learn how to control your thoughts and anxiety. Start by looking in the mirror and telling the person looking back at you that they are beautiful and worthy. Don’t stare at your flaws, your extra tummy flub, your jiggly arms, your stretch marks or any other “imperfect” body part. Look into your own eyes and see the person that you truly are.

Now, every time you’re out and start to feel that sense of “what are thinking about me” Remember who you saw in the mirror and dance around like the princess (or prince) you are!.


Thought Changing. My plan to self rebuild.

“ If you have the same damn thoughts, you’re going to have the same damn day”

It’s no secret that my life has been bit of a rough patch lately. My personal struggles have taken ahold of me and really had me down lately. The more I’ve found myself thinking about it –the more I realize that there’s really no logical reason for me to fell so low. There’s nothing in my life that is breaking, I have 2 amazing kids, A big happy Golden retriever to come home to. My family is happy, healthy and overall well. The only real issues I have are the normal run of the mill single mom money stress- and even its slowly filling itself out (or so I’m going to tell myself).  I honestly have no clue where this sadness within me is coming from(other than just being depressed). So, I’ve reached a conclusion.

Depression isn’t going to beat me. I’m going to overcome it.

Every feeling we have is tied to the thoughts floating around in our heads. Our thoughts control the emotions we are feeling, based on the negative or positive thought. There are thing we cannot control, but our thoughts are not one of those things. There are times when our lives feel like a complete disaster, when we don’t understand why it has to be this way. In these times we must remember that it’s not our lives that are a disaster it’s our thoughts that are making them this way. Sure, bad things will happen and some things are out of our control, sure things will undoubtedly come along that will make us sad or mad, but at the end of the day we can choose to change our thought process. We can choose to think of this uncontrollable event as something positive.

We can choose, to make ourselves happy.

For the next month I am taking on a self –challenge. I will be using online resources to self-coach myself on having a more positive life. I’ll give my self-Goals to reach and things to accomplish. These can be simple things like Reaching out to more people, going on a date, meeting with a friend-  things that for you may be easy- things that I normally feel uncomfortable about and avoid. Part of this challenge is to keep a journal and do assessments so to keep myself accountable I will be sharing these with you as well as sharing how doing this makes me feel.

If you have any article/blog/book or online course suggestions that may help my journey please share in the comments!


This is me – reaching out.

XOXO Brittney.

Tomorrow. Another day with Anxiety.



Tomorrow I am going to get up early, shower, put on makeup, dress nice, be motivated and get to places on time.

Tomorrow is going to be a new start. I’m going to stop feeling so down.

Tomorrow I’m going to reach out and make new friends, and reconnect with old ones.

Tomorrow…..always seems to beat me.


The alarm goes off. I feel to tired, not a normal I’m just sleeping well and don’t want to move tired. A I’m exhausted out of fear tired.

My head feels like its spinning, I have a 18 wheeler laying on my chest and my breaths are short and forced. My brain tells me “maybe 5 more minutes will help”, so I press snooze and close my eyes.

Three hours later I wake up – late. I’m late for work; I’ve missed the babysitters and dropping my son off at camp. My parents are texting me why I haven’t done what I’m supposed to do …..Again. I’m angry. I’m made with myself for once again failing to be responsible and I’m mad that I already feel bad enough and yet I’m being judged and made to feel worse by people that have no idea how much of a struggle it is. I’m upset enough to drive myself into an anxiety attack, which only delays my lateness – that much further.

The remainder of the day I pretty much just feel like a failure. I drop off my kids and can feel all the eyes on me and the judgements people are making about being such a damn irresponsible adult/mother (even though they probably aren’t).  When all is done I get in the car, try to control my breathing and the dizziness that’s crept its way on me making me feel like I’m going to pass out.

I continue on my way to work- 3 hours late- once again anticipating all the stares and judgements as I walk to my desk (again- probably not happening).

When  5 rolls around I’ll head back to my parents, probably get a few questions about why I was late or why I didn’t tell the sitter- I’ll feel worse. I’ll sit down on the couch with intensions of resting for a few minutes and then doing something productive that needs to be done, but more than likely I’ll sit down and give into my emotional exhaustion falling asleep and napping the rest of the afternoon (which will only make me feel guilty when I wake up).

And so starts my nightly pattern of “planning to do better tomorrow”.

With my anxiety tomorrow never seems to come; at least not the tomorrow that I want. Instead it only brings more panic attacks and failures. More stares and judgments (that aren’t there). More disappointments, more not being good enough.

I’m drowning in tomorrows, and it’s getting harder to fight.


Books..Books…Books… I’ve read so many Books!

My goal this summer was to read as many books as possible, and i must say i’ve done pretty dang good at achieving this goal! I’ve completed about 10 books in the last month. Each book being a random selection I fell upon at the library during my various visits.

Since i loved them so, here are some of my favorites!


First up: Sleeping with strangers and Waking with Enemies by Eric Jerome Dickey.

I picked up Sleeping with strangers on my first trip to the public library. I was scanning the shelves and was captured by the title.

I was NOT disappointed- well, okay i was but only because i didn’t know there was a sequel and had to wait until the day after finishing it to go find the second book!

Anyways, This book is for those that like a thrill. It’s mysterious, seductive and will make you wish you had a Gideon in your life (and i don’t mean Gideon Cross- if you’ve read the cross fire books, these books may give those a run for their money!)

“Gideon” is a hired killer with a complicated past, he’s recent target being a rapper in Tampa, FL. As always he completes his mission but someone has now turned him into the hunted instead of the hunter. He flees the country, just to meet to lovely women on his flight – one is leaving the country to meet her boyfriend – the other fleeing from a divorce. What takes place between them is something all us girls can be jealous of! Now i’d tell you more, but i don’t want to spoil the fun- Go pickup the books and be intrigued, you wont be sorry!



Second: Sunday’s at Tiffany’s by James Patterson

This ones for those of you that like a good romance novel.  Could you imagine being 8 years old and your only friend being a fairly handsome imaginary friend? Can you imagine him telling you on your 9th birthday you’ll wake up- he will be gone and you wont even remember him ever being there?

Okay, so imagine that- then picture yourself waking up on your 9th birthday, finding your best friend gone but your memory of him still intact. You remember him every day of your life- even once your an adult. Then  one day; in your favorite diner – he’s there. He’s back – you see him across the room and it’s as if he was never gone. What would you do? What could this mean?

Read the novel and fall in love!


Third (and possibly my favorite) : Shatter me; Destroy me: Unravel me; Fracture me.

All i can say about these are GO GET THEM! I couldn’t put them down (literally read all of them within a week). A mix of mystery, adventure, romance, twists and turns. You’ll get wrapped in them- I promise!



Fourth: The master bedroom by Tessa Hadley

The master bedroom was another story I got caught in (okay, maybe i get caught in them all). Kate moves back home to take care of her elderly mother, but she never expected to fall for two men while she’s back and she definitely never expected them to be a father and his teenage son. The ironic twist and turns in her encounters will keep you reading!



Lastly (for now): Because you’re mine by Colleen Coble.

Again, a random choose i made off the Newly released shelf at the library and OMG i couldn’t put it down. I got so wrapped up in the character’s, I was kept on my toes the entire book and every-time i thought I had it figured out – I didn’t.

It’s a one of a kind love story; if your a sucker for true love and romance – pick it up. you will NOT wont to put it down.

That’s it for now!